The Benevolent Overlord

Welcome to my humble and zenfull blog...

It's Pink!!!!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Final College Essay

Alan Franklin
Mrs. Boresen
Per. 04/Expository Writing
College Essay
04 February 2010

The dark green leaves of the stoic basil bush, bursting forth from the dust-like earth, were full and vibrant. The odor perspiring from the stiff, domed leaves was sweet, and intoxicating. Persistent, hungry flies came to drink the sweet nectar and dutifully pollinate the already flowering plant, while a small family of audacious mice ventured forth to sample the potent herb.
That was what I noticed just before I blatantly harvested the basil plants for drying and preservation. I grew the resilient plants in my cool basement with a grow light continually hanging overhead; even if my mother thinks the indoor garden is a waste of time, and energy. The humble herbs were easily germinated and grown in modest earthen pots filled with a mixture of potting soil and peat. I was tenderly growing the plants for a family friend, whom I only knew in passing, but being an avid fan of cooking with fresh herbs.
Moving upstairs to my converted drying room, I devotedly transported the intact stems with leaves attached to a large, open sorting table. The day was bright and sunny with a dry wind blowing in from outside; perfect conditions for drying and curing herbs. I then proceeded to tie off bushels, between 10 and 12 stems apiece, at their bases with twine. Upending the mouthwatering plants, I slipped the bushels into long, brown paper bags. Tying off the versatile bags, making sure to not let the plants touch the bottom of their bags, I made a knotted loop at the top of each bag for hanging. Hanging the bags on hooks in the ceiling, to take full advantage of the warmth of the sun and breeze, I marked a calendar in my room with a big red X to remind me to remove and bottle the dry leaves 11 lengthy days later.
This was not the first time I had grown lush herbs for someone besides myself. Earlier I had experimented with different profitable fertilizers and advantageous soil composition, so as to discern the absolute best growth medium for the various botanical plant life that I lovingly grew, mostly for my grandmother. After experimentation with soil, I moved on to various methods of composting waste biomaterial and turning it into beneficial fertilizer, this was quite easy because I have lived next to farmers/gardeners for most of my life. I had multiple success results in the process, and used some in my lavish gardens. The gardens I attended brightened up my neighborhood, some even asked for my help with their gardens to help the community’s status. The results of drying my herbs, as I found, were positive in that they preserved many of my herbs, for many over a year at a time. My grandmother helped me by just being there, and by letting me help out in her small garden by tilling the soil and testing that the soil had enough water. She is a sweet, but stern woman of mature age, that still loves to encourage me and my siblings in any endeavor that we choose to pursue, be it horse riding, botany, or explosives.
Returning to and seeing the final product, 11days later, is worth it to me in the end. To witness something of value springing up out of the dirt thanks to my dutiful attendance to it and to reap the rewards of my efforts is what gives me a true and lasting joy. Furthering my education and attaining a Master’s in Botany will, above all else, enable me to do what I love and maybe even profit from it. So I will persistently strive to find a way to make that happen. The financial struggles that have consistently plagued my family have left me incapable of paying for college myself. I am expecting no financial aide to come from my parents, seeing as what little income they have they must put towards supporting the rest of my large family, and that I cannot find a suitable job so far out of the city. And so, this leaves me to seek alternative ways of funding my necessary college expenditures and experience, such as scholarships. Through it all, my mother’s friend was ecstatic to receive such a fragrant and bountiful gift, and asked me to grow for her again in the future.
Student signature:____________________________________________________ Date: ___________

1 comment:

Mrs. Boresen said...

THis is still just a story. I would suggest writing the essay at the bare minimum to meet the requirements then figure out how you can incorperate ths story. I revised this paper too and put it in the Classroom 2 folder, expository writing, student essays, #2 folder. I think you will like the way the essay is organized. I hope the comments help. As far as the rubric goes here's what I thought you did at the 6 level:Shows a mature command of the language. That's one out of all of the requirements. For this essay to be useful to this scholarship you will need to start over.

Grade: 65/100

If you want to fix it, please tell me about it and repost it by next Thursday.